Nancy Kalish, Ph.D. began her research on reunited couples in 1993, naming it the Lost Love Project. She designed a 33 question survey, with a space at the end for the participant's love story (optional). Her request for participation went out on radio stations, television shows, in magazines and newspapers, and in CompuServe, Usenet, and AOL special interest forums, to name but a few recruitment methods. The same ad was always posted:

"College researcher seeks people who loved someone years ago, parted,
then 5 or more years later tried another relationship with that person. For
an anonymous questionnaire, send a mailing address to: P.O. Box 19692,
Sacramento, CA 95819."

The first phase of the questionnaire research ended in 1996 with 1001 participants from all 50 states, the District of Columbia, Puerto Rico, and 35 additional countries. They ranged in age from 18 to 89. Most people did include their love stories, often adding on multiple sheets of paper to make them complete.

The data from the survey questions were analyzed and results were published in Dr. Kalish's book, Lost & Found Lovers: Facts and Fantasies of Rekindled Romances (Morrow, 1997). This is the only nonfiction book that has ever been published on research of actual reunited couples.

Dr. Kalish found that reunions with an old boyfriend or old girldfriend were common in all age groups. The average age of the participants was 35. Two-thirds of the participants had reunited with their first loves from when they were 17 years old or younger. Their success rate for staying together was 78%. For the overall sample, the staying together rate was 72%. The full results for these 1001 participants are discussed in Kalish's book, along with reasons why thinking about ex boyfriends or ex girlfriends is common, and how these reunions are different from typical romances.

After the book's publication, questionnaires and love stories continued to pour in to Dr. Kalish from around the world, in letters, in email messages, in faxes, and phone calls. And Dr. Kalish has met many of these couples in person. Many of the original participants have written updates to their stories. Her research with this additional group of survey participants was presented at the American Psychological Association's annual convention in Washington, DC in 1999, and a presentation on couples reunited using the Internet was presented at the APA convention in San Francisco in 2000.

Although it was not planned, Dr. Kalish's early research was conducted prior to the creation of the World Wide Web. Her new research is based on participants who have typically found each other online. These populations are very different! Rekindled romance today has a dark side: most of the recent survey participants are married, or their lost loves are married, or both. They are in unexpected emotional (and often physical) affairs with their old flames. These reunions are not nearly as successful as reunions between single, divorced, or widowed former sweethearts, and the reconnections are hurtful to spouses, children, and the lost loves themselves. Dr. Kalish strongly cautions married men and women not contact their lost loves at all!

Whether you have renewed a lost love romance, or would like to contact a former sweetheart, or if you simply think about "someone special from long ago," Lost & Found Lovers will surprise you with its true stories and explanations of the rekindled romance phenomenon. Dr. Kalish's new book, The Lost Love Chronicles, is a collection of true stories of reunions and touching memories of young love which will captivate your attention, delight you, and (in some cases) bring tears to your eyes. For those who have wondered about "what might have been," this book is for you.