Dr. Nancy Kalish can discuss Puppy Loves, High School Sweethearts, Reunited Lost Lovers

Subject: New Research Shows the Power of First Love
From: Nancy Kalish, Ph.D.

Most of us think of our "first love" from time to time; we may even pine over "the one who got away," or wonder "what might have been." Lost love is a timeless theme, immortalized in fiction through countless songs, plays, movies, and television shows. Nancy Kalish, Ph.D., Professor of Psychology at California State University, Sacramento, has been conducting research on this topic, publicized as the Lost Love Project, for 8 years. This is an international landmark study of 1500 people (and growing) who tried a reunion with a lost love 5 or more years after their separation. Dr. Kalish is the author of the only nonfiction book about reunited couples, first loves, and high school sweethearts: Lost & Found Lovers: Facts and Fantasies of Rekindled Romances (Morrow, 1997). New data are available now. And Kalish is completing a second book.

It is one thing to think about a lost lover, but quite another to try a reunion; yet Dr. Kalish has found that it is common for people to attempt to reunite with an old flame. Perhaps her most surprising finding is that these romances are wildly successful. 72% of the Lost Love Project couples reported that they were still together at the time of the survey. If they had been first loves, 78% of them were still together. One man wrote:

"Just wanted you to know that I have never been happier in my entire life!! We've been married ten years now, and it still feels like we're on our honeymoon! I have never been more relaxed, more secure, more honest, or more loved."

In her research, Dr. Kalish found that most participants, regardless of their current ages, went back to someone they had loved when they were 17 or younger. Two-thirds of the couples had been first loves. One woman described her reunion:

"We were two fifty year olds acting like love-starved sixteen year olds...We danced together right there in the airport and thirty-some years melted away."

The reasons the young romances had ended were situational -- moved away, too young, went into the military. The second time around, the original roadblocks were gone:
"I was twelve and my Lost Lover was fourteen. We shared a first kiss. He was afraid of my parents, who were very strict. He left for the military, but I had a crush on him even after fifty years."

The most common reason by far for the break ups was "parents disapproved" and forced them apart. Resentment and bitterness towards their parents often grew over the years, as they regretted the time that they had lost, including the opportunity to have children together. Kalish's research confirms the importance of "puppy love" and should be required reading for parents of teenagers who are dating.

Dr. Kalish has noticed changes in her population since she began her work in 1993: most participants are now coming from the Internet, and a high proportion of these rekindled romances are extramarital affairs.

ABOUT THE AUTHOR:

Nancy Kalish, Ph.D. (pronounced Kay´ lish) is a psychology professor at California State University, Sacramento, where she teaches courses on human development. She received her B.A. from Douglass College (Rutgers University) and her doctorate from the Graduate Center, City University of New York. In addition to her popular book, Lost & Found Lovers, Dr. Kalish has had numerous articles published in professional journals and presented at national psychology conferences.
Dr. Kalish is the international expert on rekindled romances, lost loves, and first love, and has been in great demand as a speaker on this upbeat topic. She discussed her early findings on lost love on Oprah, 20/20, NPR, CNN, and Good Day New York. After the publication of Lost & Found Lovers, she was booked as a guest for Montel, and Dear Abby devoted an entire column to a letter from Dr. Kalish that warned married couples not to search for lost lovers. Modern Maturity, Mademoiselle, The Chicago Tribune, Parade, and Men's Health are among many diverse media appearances she has had worldwide.

In most cases, Dr. Kalish can also suggest couples for your show.

Who are the prime candidates to rekindle a romance?
How do they find each other after so many years?
Is Lost & Found Love successful the second time around?
Why does rekindled love endure?
What if the couple were "first loves"?
Are rekindled romances more intense than other loves?
What did the author uncover about rekindled sex?
Why should Kalish's book be "required reading" for parents of adolescents?
What can teenagers learn from this book?
Is there anyone who should avoid seeking a Lost Love?

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